Thriving not surviving
As I stand at the threshold of 38 years of sobriety on the 16 March 2025, ODAAT God willing, my heart overflows with gratitude for Alcoholics Anonymous and the countless souls who guided me toward the light of recovery. Looking back on this journey, I’m humbled by the patience, wisdom, and unconditional love that surrounded me, even when I couldn’t recognise or appreciate it.
To the old-timers who saw through my elaborate tapestry of lies and excuses – you never wavered. You sat there, meeting after meeting, listening to my stories with knowing eyes and gentle hearts. You recognised the scared, lost soul behind my bravado because you’d walked that path before. When I thought I was leading the group, you let me hold onto that illusion until I was strong enough to embrace humility. Your wisdom wasn’t in confronting my ego, but in letting time and the Programme gradually strip away my defences.
I remember the countless acts of service that saved my life – the members who drove miles out of their way to ensure I made it to meetings, never asking for anything in return. To those who offered me rides when I had lost everything, including my respect – you were doing more than providing transport. You were showing me what unconditional love looked like in action. Each car ride was a mobile therapy session, a chance to absorb the wisdom of those who had found their way before me.
To the sponsors and friends who gently, persistently pointed out what I needed to do to get sober – thank you for your patience. Like so many newcomers, I thought I knew better. I was convinced I could find an easier, softer way. If I have any regrets today, it’s the time I wasted believing I had all the answers. How different might my journey have been if I had embraced humility sooner? If I had truly listened and applied the Programme’s principles from the start?
Yet even that regret serves a purpose. Today, when I share with newcomers, I can speak authentically about the cost of resistance and the freedom that comes with surrender. The life I enjoy now – this profound peace, this deep connection with my incredible wife, this authentic way of living – is the direct result of finally doing the next right thing, one day at a time.
To those young in sobriety: please hear me when I say that every single day counts. Don’t waste the precious gift of early recovery thinking you need to figure it all out alone. The Programme works, but only if you work it. Your journey doesn’t have to be as long or complicated as mine was. When old-timers share their experience, strength, and hope, they’re offering you a map through territories they’ve already navigated. Their words aren’t mere suggestions – they’re lifelines thrown to a drowning person.
The beauty of AA lies in its simplicity and its depth. The same Programme that saved my life decades ago continues to enrich it today. Each morning, I still wake up grateful for another day of sobriety. Each night, I still take inventory and make amends when necessary. The steps aren’t just a path to stopping drinking – they’re a blueprint for living with dignity, purpose, and serenity.
To the Fellowship that saved my life: you showed me that sobriety isn’t about gritting your teeth and white-knuckling through existence. It’s about transformation. It’s about discovering that the peace I desperately sought at the bottom of bottles was always available through honest self-reflection, genuine connection, and spiritual growth.
Today, I’m blessed beyond measure. My wife, the finest human being I’ve ever known, stands as living proof that recovery opens doors to relationships we never dreamed possible. She sees in me what AA saw all those years ago – the potential for growth, love, and service that lies within every recovering alcoholic.
To anyone struggling today: you are worth every effort it takes to build a solid foundation in recovery. Don’t settle for mere abstinence when true sobriety – rich, full, meaningful sobriety – is available. The Programme works if you work it. The Promises come true if you don’t give up before the miracle happens.
One day at a time, with the grace of God and the Fellowship of AA, we recover. We don’t just survive – we thrive. And for that, my gratitude knows no bounds.
Thanks.
PJ
Saturday morning, Merrylee Road
