Steps 10, 11 and 12: Own up, Stick Closer to God (As We Understand Him) And Carry the Message
By the time we reach these last three Steps, we have possibly grown tired, are glad to be nearing the end, and not examining these in the same depth we did the earlier ones on our journey. If this is you – and I own up, it was me – then these are my thoughts in doing the Steps again as we should.
The ‘continued to take personal inventory’ (Step 10), has become easier, for just when I have banished one resentment, another pops up. I understand this word better as a sort of jealousy.
I noticed this recently when in Spain at the Albir Convention. I love Spain, the humour and the acceptance of life on life’s terms in those ordinary folk I have met seems less self-punishing than my Scottish puritan ethic. Perhaps it’s the sun! I go twice a year to conventions, so the Albir one is a ‘must’. At that one the Spanish AA run parallel meetings in their own language. When we come together for the countdown and farewells, it’s all translated so everyone can understand. For me it is pure theatre and just wonderful.
There are also British people who have made their homes in Spain, or have a base in both countries. So back to resentment. I met one such couple and chatted with them in good humour, until I asked them when they were to fly back. “Oh, but we live here” they replied. You live here! My jealousy was palpable. On a positive note, I now recognise these demons and try to be less grudging.
‘Improve our conscious contact’ (Step 11). I do find it easier now to pray. At first I know it was self-conscious and a little artificial. Not at bedtime as my talking books see me to sleep, in place of drink and too long used medication. In the morning, when I am rested, I do ask for help to do ‘his’ work on earth, to reach out to others. My early resolve may fizzle out later on, but hopefully practice will help sustain the motivation. At least I do carry this into meetings, give my phone number to newcomers, get theirs – often more important as I can use it – they might find it too hard to text me. Telling them about other meetings and seeing they have a list, if internet shy, also helps make the newcomer feel welcome. A bit later on in their visits, I can tell them about joining a group, making closer friends and doing a little bit of service. Buying the milk and washing up is a great start, I tell them, keen to give chores away. It beats cleaning ashtrays!
So finally I reach Step 12. Carrying the message: some of the ways have been mentioned already and here I want to highlight sponsoring. With a year’s sobriety and the Steps much more familiar, this is one of the easiest and natural ways to connect. While the journey is fresh in your mind and with the support of your own sponsor, I promise it’s not hard to introduce someone to this magic journey. Don’t wait to be asked as that often takes too much courage for someone relatively new. On this journey, one can share one’s experience, but not dwell on it, help someone stay focused and feel supported in wobbly times. It so helps me to sustain my sobriety, review my own progress and give something back.
Don’t hesitate, it is so worthwhile and one makes a new friend. At an earlier British convention, I was asked how I was getting on with my Steps. I replied that I was doing them slowly. “Well, don’t take too long,” I was reminded, “for out there, folk are dying!” I have never forgotten this salutory message about sponsoring someone and not delaying.
Elaine K
Aberdeen
