Step 2
I came to Alcoholics Anonymous in March 2024. My road to the Fellowship was long and very twisted. Along the way, I tried almost everything to stop drinking. I had my own psychologist and doctor, but unfortunately the appointments and conversations brought no real results. I managed to stay sober for a few weeks at a time, only to return to drinking with even greater intensity. Nothing around me brought me any joy.
Even my baby daughter, just a few months old, was not enough reason for me to stop drinking and truly be a father to her. Everything seemed dark. I completely lost control of my life. There were only debts, shame, and total humiliation. I had no faith in myself and no faith in anyone or anything else. But soon, things were about to change for the better.
After two months of attending AA meetings, I experienced my first success—I didn’t drink. Still, I struggled to understand the message shared by other members, especially when it came to believing in a Higher Power. That idea didn’t reach me at all; in fact, it pushed me away from the Fellowship. In my mind, I believed that I didn’t need any programme or God to achieve sobriety.
That belief lasted until the moment my mind decided that I could drink—and even that I had to drink. After that experience, my thinking changed. I knew then that without the programme and faith in something greater than myself, I wouldn’t make it. I asked someone to be my sponsor and began working the Twelve Steps.
My attitude toward following suggestions wasn’t filled with enthusiasm, especially when it came to praying on my knees. Still, I started doing it, and from the very first days I felt that it was helping me. I worked Step One and discovered that the obsession to drink had been removed. I was truly amazed.
Then it was time for Step Two. My Higher Power is God—not connected to or identified with any religion in this world. This is my God, as I understand Him. A God who understands me and shows me how to be a better person. I know that when something troubles me, I can always turn to Him for help or ask for guidance on which direction to take.
He gives me strength for another day and watches over me so that nothing bad happens. He guides my thinking and keeps me from losing my way. He allows me to live peacefully and, even when problems and worries arise, He provides solutions so I can cope. My God helps me look to the future with optimism. My eyes and ears are open to new solutions.
He is an unimaginable Power—one I cannot touch or see—but one I certainly feel and experience in my everyday life. I know He has a special plan for me, and I willingly try to follow His will. He gives me understanding and shows me that I can be patient and calm, regardless of what is happening around me.
Coming to believe in a Higher Power came relatively easily to me, although a year ago I would never have imagined that. I can say that my upbringing in the Catholic faith helped, even though I do not practise it today.
Today, I can confidently say that I have found my God—my Higher Power. I no longer feel alone, and I have support in Him.
Roman
Aberdeen
Translated from ‘WyspiAArze’, nr 1 (72)/ 2025 for Roundabout