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Not Unique

POWERLESS, how could I be? I thought I knew it all, alcohol however soon dispelled this theory, until I hit rock bottom and admitted I was powerless over alcohol it would remain my master: allowing me to meet people I didn’t want to meet; to go to places I didn’t want to go; do things I didn’t want to do.

This usually results in kaleidoscopic heads and “…the hideous Four Horsemen—Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.” (BB p.151) This was my life for twenty years until I walked through that door into my first meeting on the back of the best piece of people-pleasing ever. Northallerton Friday night was the venue, sadly no longer there, 32 years ago on Christmas Eve 1992. Very soon it began to manifest itself to me and explain to me the need to keep coming back. After my first meeting, it was suggested to me that I keep coming back, learn to listen, listen to learn, and that I had taken Step One by virtue of the fact I was there. It became very apparent why ‘powerless’ is the most important word in this Step, and ‘we’ the second. I am not alone anymore, I am not unique.

I know today I am not a bad person wanting to be made good, but a sick one wanting to be made well, and that I’m not unique. Step One set me on the road for recovery, but I still have a long way to go, and as a member of a new group (Bedale), I have no reason to revert back to my old way. My sincerest thanks and gratitude must go to the founder members, and my new AA friends for helping me find sobriety and instil in me the need to continue.

EREMY, Bedale