“I disregarded the last of these suggestions, thinking I could recover my way, and had a brief relapse because I couldn’t cope with the feelings of guilt, shame, remorse and self-loathing which arose when I couldn’t numb them with alcohol and other substances.”

On Wednesday, as usual, I attended my AA group at Rose Street in Glasgow. I’m an early riser and I don’t live very far away, so I use the walk into town to calm myself and prepare myself mentally for the meeting. Once there, I set up the room and await the other group members who have further to travel.

I joined the group in 2009 when I came to AA in a desperate state and decided to stay this time. I heard the suggestions one hears at most AA meetings – stay away from the first drink, go to plenty of meetings, join a group and, last but not least, find a sponsor who can guide you through the 12 Steps of recovery as laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I disregarded the last of these suggestions, thinking I could recover my way, and had a brief relapse because I couldn’t cope with the feelings of guilt, shame, remorse and self-loathing which arose when I couldn’t numb them with alcohol and other substances.

I came back to AA with my tail between my legs and my group welcomed me back with open arms and no judgement. When I first joined the group there were many members and I felt that I could fade into the background and detach myself from the real 12th Step work of carrying the message of AA to newcomers.

The format then was that a group member chose a reading from AA literature and shared on it. As time went on members left for various reasons and I had to take more responsibility. Eventually, when we only had four or five members left, we had a Group Conscience Meeting and decided to change the format to a straightforward Care and Share Meeting. After all, the original name of the group was ‘Simplicity’.
I was coming up for 10 years’ sober when Covid hit and I missed my group desperately during the lockdown. We lost a much-loved group member at that awful time, but eventually we were able to reopen. Numbers attending were low at first, but we have slowly recovered, and I am delighted to say that we have recently gained four new members.

It is wonderful to see the group thriving and I will be happy to relinquish some of my roles. No-one is indispensable! However, I am happy to remain in my role as Roundabout rep and try to promote the magazine weekly at our group. I give thanks to all my group members, past and present, for helping me on the road to recovery.

Please come and visit us if you’re in Glasgow. You are sure to receive a warm welcome!

Jean S
Wednesday 10am Rose Street, Glasgow