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Amend to Dad

ONE day whilst sitting in the park listening to my sponsor talking about Step Nine, two things came into my mind – to be honest, I had to admit two things from the past that I know hurt my father. My soul knew straight away.

I was drinking the night before my father died. We had a man to man talk and my dad said, “Do what you want you want to do in life as this is no dress rehearsal.” He then said, “Good night and God bless you.” In the morning I heard a shout of pain – fortunately I had no hangover – so I shot out of bed and called the GP. We got dad to hospital where he died within the hour. However, it was another eleven years before I got sober and I now live abroad – though I do travel back to my home town to make my amends.

I wrote a letter to my father, containing the two things I knew which hurt him. I went to his grave, read the letter saying sorry to my father and also said the Serenity Prayer. I left that letter on his grave. As I walked home through the town, there was a lovely blue sky and I felt peace within me. My mother, who I hadn’t told what I was doing, followed me into the living room and handed me a box saying, “This is for you.” When I opened it, inside was her wedding ring and she said, “I would like you to have it.” I’m the youngest of five children, with dyslexia and also hard of hearing but it doesn’t matter. In God’s world, the last comes first. I felt this was a gift, from God and my father, saying it is okay, you have been forgiven and to continue to heal.

Today is good and tomorrow is in the hands of God. My soul is at peace. Thank you, dad. RIP