That first miracle phone call
That first miracle phone call.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” is a quotation from the Bible (Philippians 4:13) that is important to me as I write about my experience, strength and hope. It’s actually very appropriate as I can see the St Paul’s statue, on St Paul’s Island, from my apartment here in Malta where I live. That’s a miracle in itself if you consider where I was 5 years ago.
In early 2021 I was at my rock bottom back in Glasgow. Completely lost, depressed, anxious, bitter and beaten by life. Lacking any form to myself. However, without realising it, I had completed the First Step. I knew I was powerless over alcohol and my life had become
unmanageable.
The first miracle happened quickly for me in the form of the gentleman who answered my phone call. I didn’t recognise his voice but amazingly, it just so happened that we had worked for the same organisation for a long period of time! In short, any of the AA
volunteers could have answered the phone but I consider it a miracle that it was someone I knew. We arranged to meet in the Botanic Gardens in Glasgow and this man has been my sponsor ever since. When we started to work the Steps I had no doubt that this coincidence with my sponsor was a God (Higher Power) moment, so
Steps 2 and 3 soon followed.
I got sober during Covid so there were no live meetings. I believe online meetings were a gift from God in order that I could be strengthened through these meetings. I’m not sure I’d have gotten sober if it was an era when there was no such thing as online
meetings.
Things seemed to be falling into place, until Step 4. Here, I had to recognise and admit to character defects I didn’t know I had. Pride, ego, fear, insecurity and low self-esteem. I learned that alcoholism is a three-fold illness: physical, emotional and spiritual. I knew the emotional part was particularly significant: with sobriety, the good
news is you get your feelings back; the bad news – you get your feelings back. Through the Programme I have learned some sayings which I repeat maybe several times a day to manage my emotions:
“Thy will be done” and “Don’t lift the first drink and you can’t get drunk”.
When my past comes into my head and I feel resentful or uncomfortable, I remind myself that I’m an alcoholic, it’s an illness and I was sick.
To maintain my sobriety, I read the Daily Reflections each morning and meditate on it for a few minutes. Prayers which I regularly turn to are the Morning Prayer and the Acceptance Prayer.
When I’m restless, irritable and discontent I’ve learned through the Programme to hand it over to God (my Higher Power) rather than be driven by self-will.
My sobriety date is 22 May 2022. Since then, I have re-trained as a teacher and moved to Malta to work full-time in an English language school. I have bought a car and I manage to negotiate the chaotic traffic here each day. I’m learning Italian, practising Pilates and I’m in a secure and loving relationship – we also have a dog. These are all
amazing gifts, none of which would have been possible without the AA Fellowship.
I’m fully aware that I’m only one drink away from losing everything but by asking God for knowledge of his will and the strength to carry it out, I remain sober through Christ who strengthens me.
Anonymous