Dear Reader
Firstly, thank you to all contributors for a bumper crop of Step and Tradition Nine articles together with those for our Prisons theme this month, they are much appreciated! If you have written to Share, please encourage an AA friend to do the same.
I still remember the weight of guilt and shame I carried in early sobriety; it seemed impossible to imagine I could repair the destruction caused by endless years of drinking. At Step Nine I was taught to TAKE ACTION, but to do it carefully rather than inconsiderately or hurriedly. I realised that much of the damage in my active alcoholism related to things I didn’t do. I wasn’t present, I was unreliable, I didn’t provide enough security, care, or reassurance to my family – particularly my son who was 16 when I came to AA.
Someone once texted me a photo of a broken plate alongside another image of the same plate glued back together, the caption read, “Step Nine, now do you get it?” I understand it to mean that I have to do my best to put things right, but I cannot expect the result to be perfect. Living amends have rebuilt the relationship between me and my son, we now talk for hours, I take part in his life, and he trusts me. Today, more than a decade on, he lives with his fiancée and the three of us have an incredibly close bond. I don’t think the glue is visible on this plate anymore – that is the miracle of this Programme.
In Tradition Nine, “Great suffering and great love are A.A.’s disciplinarians; we need no others.” (12&12 p.174) How true! Although AA isn’t conventionally ‘organised’, I’ve observed that doing as suggested gives me an amazing sober life. Unfortunately, I’ve also seen some who ignore the Twelve Steps in intense pain and distress. The evidence is readily available in meetings; it doesn’t need to be confirmed by someone being in charge.