People Get Nicer
I started drinking at the age of eight and stopped when I was nearly 24. I have not had a drink since then, and I have throughout the last 52 years been a member of AA. I spent my four years from the age of 18 to 22 as a university student. I am very grateful for two things. First, that I was able to attend the university, which was a great privilege. Second, that my Higher Power rescued me from serious trouble and real danger, both then and all the time that I was drinking, as well as looking after me in my recovery. I recently attended a college reunion where I met people I had known as a student, some of whom have remained close friends and I have grown to love them. But there were others I had not seen for 53 years, and I found it was a pleasure to talk to them. It seemed to me that we had all become nicer people than we had been as students – much less competitive, and much less keen to score points off each other.
Or was that the way they had always been and I hadn’t been able to see it, and had behaved badly towards them myself? I was reminded of the words of an older AA member at one of my early meetings, “People get nicer when you stop drinking.” I was worried about meeting one man in particular who I thought had ‘dissed’ me many years ago: I’m an alcoholic with a long memory for resentments. In fact, he wanted to talk to me about the death of his wife from cancer, as he had heard that my wife had also died of cancer. So, I now have good feelings towards him. I had a very warm conversation with another man which showed that we got on much better than I expected. We shared a house in our final year, and he had to put up with my drunken ravings. During the course of the dinner my not drinking was commented on briefly, but no one pursued the topic.
All in all, it was a very nice evening, enhanced by the fantastic surroundings of a medieval dining hall and the really good food. You may be pleased to hear that there was a balancing factor. The college room I stayed in was the meanest, smallest room I have ever spent the night in, so it wasn’t all the lap of luxury! Anyway, I very much enjoyed the reunion. But my gratitude is, much more importantly, really about the way my Higher Power has looked after me, both then and always. During my drinking days I was often in blackouts when anything could have happened, and I often put myself and others at risk. My Higher Power also prompted me to phone AA, which was exactly what I needed. That Power has guided me, kept me close to the Fellowship, given me some truly wonderful friends, and kept me sober and sane.
JOHN, Welsh Borders