Not a glum lot
Sharer I listened for a moment to that joyous affirmation of sobriety. You would have thought there was a party going on! Later on I was reminded of my early thoughts about AA. Of course, I had made up my mind before I had even gone to a meeting. There would be a dingy room full of grey people. This serious bunch would then spend the meeting rehashing their past misdemeanours. Talk about contempt prior to investigation.
The reality was very different. People smiled. People laughed. They sometimes laughed when someone shared back. In judgemental mode, I decided that this was inappropriate. In any case, I certainly did not feel like smiling or laughing – far from it. I felt only misery and fear. It was a crippling fear that gripped me tightly. It came when I knew I would have to live life without alcohol. But that light-hearted atmosphere was good for me as a newcomer to AA. Most importantly, it helped me to relax. I let my guard down little by little. In time I regained my sense of humour – I learnt to laugh again. That was something I had not done for a long time.
It is best summed up for me by the following quote from Alcoholics Anonymous (the Big Book), “We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things. We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life.” (BB p.132) That is so true. If my original, uninformed opinion of AA had been correct, I would not have come back to another meeting.
Further on is the following, “So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn’t we laugh ? We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.” (BB p.132) Sometimes I have said something in a meeting that other people have laughed at. At first I did not understand this. But then I realised they were laughing because they identified with what was being said. Now I try to include a bit of humour when I am doing a main share. It is a useful counterpoint to the grimmer, more serious parts of my story.
There is no doubt that alcoholism is a very serious, eventually life-threatening illness. This was emphasised to me time and again during my early recovery. Yet we can still celebrate the joy of recovery through laughter. And even just a smile of welcome to a newcomer can help to make a difference. After all, we are the fortunate ones who have found our way into the Rooms of AA. I was once in a meeting when someone remarked that, “I didn’t join AA to be miserable. I had enough misery when I was drinking.” Quite so.
BRYAN W