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Learning to Listen

“I enjoyed the drunken stories, some sad, some hilarious but when it came to the sobriety part I seemed to switch off. It was a horrible place to be in.”

Learning to listen was always a problem for me and I mean really listen.

I first came to AA in 1967 and stayed for about five to six weeks. I don’t remember a thing about what was said, but I thought you were all lovely people and I enjoyed your company – but I didn’t really listen.

I don’t remember the Programme being talked about. I remember some of the blood and thunder stories and I remembered some of the funny stories, but as I said that was all – and I went back to drinking.

It took me four years of absolute hell before I returned as a patient to the Ailsa Hospital directly through alcohol. I’d like to say I listened but I didn’t. I enjoyed the drunken stories, some sad, some hilarious but when it came to the sobriety part I seemed to switch off. It was a horrible place to be in. I didn’t want to drink but I certainly wasn’t happy and I was spreading it about.

I spoke to my sponsor and he shook his head and said he’d been waiting on me coming. That’s when things started to change. That’s when I started to listen and what I heard put it into practice. I started to hear about character defaults such as ego, selfishness and fear, which applied to me. Thankfully I also heard about the Programme of AA and listened how to put it into practice on a daily basis.

I have been sober quite a while now and still have to listen.

Jim C
Green Street Lane, Ayr, Thursday night