Damaging defects
SUPER Step Six, one of our wonderful Twelve Steps, something I knew nothing about when I came to AA, over 28 years ago. Although I had heard of AA for years, I had no idea how it worked, I did not realise it was a free spiritual Programme. I also had not heard of Bill W, didn’t know there was a place called Akron, and that Bill was instrumental in getting the book Alcoholics Anonymous, known as the Big Book, published.
I was introduced to “…the simple kit of spiritual tools…” (BB p.25) I quickly got involved in service, washing-up, putting chairs out etc, and I also got a sponsor who very kindly took me through the Steps. We did the first three Steps at his flat, saying the Step Three prayer on our knees together, something I still say on my knees each morning. He then showed me how to do Step Four. This I wrote at home it took about ten weeks. I then returned to his flat and in a number of sessions over a period of four weeks I told him my Step Five. It was a wonderful experience, to be free of all the resentments of my past. When I came out of his flat, I felt as light as a feather, and danced to my car.
He advised me to do Step Six and Seven as quickly as I could, so next morning after saying the Step Three prayer on my knees, I lay back on my bed for an hour. As it says in the Big Book, “Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done.” (BB p.75) I had been in AA for about six months at that time, and I thought about the wonderful things that had happened since I arrived in a mad suicidal state. I acknowledged that by picking up spiritual tools, I had not only not drunk in that period, I had actually established a relationship with a loving God of my own concept. A wonderful friendly relationship, and this had all come about through my sponsor and other members passing on spiritual tools to me, and for me being completely honest in my Step Four.
Step Six says, “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” (BB p.59) When I arrived, I didn’t know I had resentments or defects of character. My sponsor said there were fourteen: Pride, Self-pity, Self-centredness, Dishonesty, Envy, Jealousy, Lust, Sloth, Impatience, Intolerance, Greed, Gluttony, Selfishness and Arrogance. It was by doing Step Four that I realised the effect they had on my life, when something happened, it was how I reacted to it, that was my real problem. If someone did something I didn’t like, my pride was hurt, self-pity came in, I was envious or jealous over something for example, and of course it was arrogant of me not to accept it as God’s will.
Did I want them to be removed? Of course I did, as I realised the damage they caused me. I then willingly and gratefully said the Step Seven prayer. Have they all gone? No, I would suggest they are all part of the human condition, everyone has them, but now I know their power, and the damage they cause, and I have spiritual tools including Step Ten to deal with them as and when they arise. I am so grateful for being a member of this wonderful Fellowship, I thank God daily, and I am grateful to all the wonderful people, I have met on my wonderful spiritual journey not only in AA, but in life. Hip Hip AA, Hip Hip Hooraa.
DENNIS, Ealing
