A Rewarding Decade
FOR someone whose record for abstinence between the age of 15 and 52 was nine days, who’d have thought? I had a lot of fun when I was drinking in my youth, and even for a couple of decades beyond that (mostly). But the expression goes, “When the fun stops…stop”, and I ignored that message until 23rd July 2015 when I finally decided that my life would be better if I took alcohol out of my life completely. This has proven to be the case, and in the last ten years, I have done many more interesting things than I ever would have with alcohol still involved. Well, I remember every detail of each one of them for a start!
I couldn’t have done it by myself though, although there were many vain attempts. Fortunately, I was to find a group of people who felt the same as me, and these people helped me find a new way of living. And today, I try and pass on that same message to anyone feeling like I felt ten years ago: there is a solution (and it’s a very good one).
There are far too many people to mention individually; it wouldn’t be fair to single anyone out, but you know who you are! I haven’t thought about drinking since the first few weeks of my journey thanks to you (and what we do), and one day at a time may that continue. Thank you one and all. These paragraphs are what I posted online this morning, and already I am being overwhelmed with messages and replies. It is very humbling, but also delightful. I felt it important to mention my sobriety, but not the specific details of how exactly I got sober, as I’ve always believed we are an anonymous Fellowship for a very good reason.
If there is one thing I have learnt, it is to simply follow the suggestions in AA. I have tried to do this to the best of my ability, and by doing this, my reward has been the lifting of the compulsion to drink, and a feeling of contentedness, serenity, and peace of mind that I had never experienced before in my life. Trying to do things my way had consistently resulted in failure, and it was only trying a ‘different way’ that resulted in any success.
Ten years ago, like most newcomers, I came through the doors of AA broken and battered, and with nowhere else to go. I had decided that I probably needed to go to rehab, I needed a safe space where alcohol wasn’t available because I no longer had any control over whether or not to drink it. However, having been dragged to an AA meeting a few years before I got sober, even though I dismissed the meeting as ‘not for me’, that meeting planted a seed. I decided to give these strange (but seemingly happy) people one more go. And wow, was that the best decision I ever made in my life!
This time I had gone to a meeting voluntarily, and that made all the difference. I listened to the similarities and started to feel a wee shiver of hope run through me. I started thinking that if they could do it, perhaps so could I. They (and it was still ‘they’ at this stage, certainly not ‘we’!) seemed to be living pretty good lives – even without alcohol. And most importantly, they were smiling and laughing a lot, something that I certainly wasn’t doing at that time in my life. I’ve done many wrong things in my life, but if there’s one thing I did right, it was to approach some of the happiest people in the Rooms and ask them, “If you don’t drink alcohol, what is it you do exactly to be so happy?” I couldn’t envisage how people could be that content when they were being denied the privilege and pleasure of drinking alcohol – the exact same drug that was slowly killing me.
They said… get to as many meetings as possible. AA is not a hobby, AA is not a drop-in centre, and AA is not just a pick-me-up when you’re feeling down – it is a way of life. After you’ve been to a few meetings, pick your favourite one to be your home group. It will most likely be the first time you have been truly part of a genuine group of friends for a long time. These group members will look after you. Keep a lookout for somebody who you see regularly, who consistently impresses you with their share, how they conduct themself, their aura, and what they represent. And pluck up the courage to ask them to help you.
Embark on the Twelve-Step Programme as soon as you are comfortable, ideally sooner rather than later. The meetings will bring you identification, friendship, and the all-important telephone numbers, and knowledge about how AA works. However, it’s the Programme which will remove the desire to drink and bring that elusive serenity, and peace of mind. Become involved in service at the earliest opportunity. There are certain types of service that require a minimum of a year’s continuous sobriety, but there are many things a newcomer can do. Turn up early and ask if there’s anything you can do to help – there will be!!
For many years, it was often all about me. And that lack of altruism at times was what took me to the depths of despair. Yet the simple act of helping other people and actually feeling genuinely useful lifted my spirits to a higher level than I had ever experienced before. Today I continue to do my best to help newcomers, beginners, and indeed anybody in and outside of the Fellowship. Is this all very simple? Theoretically yes. But so is eating healthy food or taking exercise. None of these things are impossible or even difficult to do, but the application of them is where the problem usually lies! However, with alcoholism, we really have very little choice. If we want a wonderful life, we have to put in a certain amount of effort, and the rewards will be plentiful.
At least so I have found it, and I’ve also seen this manifest in thousands of other alcoholics during this decade. AA works – if done properly – so I think I will try and carry on doing what I have been doing for another 24 hours!
EAN