A Learning Curve
IT’S lunchtime on 2nd July 2025. Last night one of the lads passed on July’s Share to me. Of course, I read it cover to cover, apart from the centre pages which are removed prior to Share magazines being brought in to us. A slower read later last night brought me to “Doctors Are Human Too” (Share July 2025 p.23) I do get where the author was coming from, and sometimes people can’t express the ‘sharp intake of breath’ just like some people can’t hide their ‘eye-roll’.
When I came to AA a good while ago, it was a GP who gave me the helpline number. I called and found out about AA. In the first few weeks, I was worried for my own safety, the rule is ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’. Tomorrow I’ll hopefully attend an AA meeting which is visited by a couple of members from outside as well. There will be a slack handful of other prisoners there, none of whom am I interested in what they have been convicted of. Why? Because in a meeting, that’s not important. It’s Tradition Three, “The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.” (12&12 p.139) The fact that we are all alcoholics who used to drink but don’t anymore, one day at a time, is relevant to me.
What a person used to do, or still does, is only relevant as to how it affects or enables their drinking or their recovery. For example, in my working life I travelled extensively, had an expense account, attended booze and schmooze events, what a great excuse to drink! In sobriety, I travelled extensively, had an expense account, still attended functions, and people weren’t interested in what I did for a living. Neither would they disclose what they did. More than a few just referred me to Tradition Three. As time went on, I came to understand that we are all first and foremost, alcoholics.
It took me a long time to look at a man or a woman and realise that the important thing is, they are people trying to change. Yes, you get to know who people are first, and then what they do a long time later. Over the years I’ve met people who are unemployed, retired, full-time mums, carers, comedians, doctors, builders, musicians, butchers, actors – you name it, I’ve met them.
Tradition Three. Now I’m getting it. Now I’m in prison. There is a curiosity around what this one or that one has been convicted of. No one is here for spitting in public, smoking on the bus, looking a side-eye at the police, or just looking shifty. What a great opportunity to go to lots of different meetings, not spend all night with drinkers, not abuse the expense account or perform my job for fewer hours.
AA in jail: lesson learnt? I’ve come to understand that the transgressions you have made do NOT define you. A leopard cannot change its spots. They don’t need to be anything but the best leopards. We can and do change. If we want to! I’ve learnt the importance of not being judgemental of someone’s past and managing the expression on my face with ‘THINK, THINK, THINK’. I hope I carry these lessons with me when next I attend an AA meeting ‘on the outside’ in less than five years’ time. All the best.
ANON, HMP