A Free Woman Today
Taken from Grapevine, May 1992
Chloe H, Brooklyn, New York
I am a black female, thirty-eight years old, and an alcoholic. With the grace of God, and the rooms of AA, I have been sober for three years.
My drinking career must have started during my early teens. I remember the cutting of classes, the house parties, and all the fun it used to be. At least to me at the beginning it was fun. I always wanted to be a part of something but didn’t know how. Alcohol did for me what I couldn’t do. My drinking continued off and on for about twenty-two years.
When I was thirty years old a series of things began to happen to me. First, my drinking got worse. I became very abusive and belligerent. I could still work–but barely. I lost a baby.
Second, my relationships with my current boyfriend and my son got progressively worse. I was dialling 911 more frequently than usual. I just didn’t see what was happening to me.
After a brief sobriety I was able to finish my second degree in elementary education. That was in June 1984.
But I got to the point where alcohol was becoming more and more important. I had to carry it to school and work. By 1985 my life really started to fall apart. All I did was drink and pass out, drink and pass out. I couldn’t eat, but I gained a lot of weight. I didn’t see the drinking as contributing to the weight problem.
This insanity went on for three years. The year 1987 was a total blackout.
I was at the turning point. In May 1988 I finally got separated from an insane relationship I was in. I started earnestly asking God to help me find a place to go where I would be accepted. I had wandered around in a dry drunk for four months. In September I surrendered to my disease and accepted the First Step. As I started going to the meetings I met a lot of people who shared their life story with me. I haven’t had a taste for a drink or drug since. I also gave up a terrible addiction to smoking. I tackled it “one day at a time.”
Thanks to God and the Fellowship of AA, I am a free woman today. If I can do it so can you. Just “easy does it!”
