A debt I can’t repay
I find myself sitting at this keyboard with no idea what I am going to write about. I have been meaning to do this for years but have never got round to it – fear I suppose. I am nearly 40 years sober: got sober on 1 April 1984, after many wasted and fruitless years trying to prove to myself I was not an alcoholic and failing miserably, causing no end of grief and heartache to my family and friends. I would wonder what their reaction would be when they found out I was in AA.
Up until today nobody who knew me back then has ever asked me why I am in the Fellowship. In my early sobriety I would have occasional doubts, but they never did. I just came to meetings and did what I was told – now that was a first for me!
I got involved at group level then at intergroup. When I heard the group chair announce from the top table “If you are going to volunteer for the Helpline please make sure you have a phone”, I thought to myself “This place needs me”. I was wrong of course – I needed it. I was on the Helpline for 37 years and had to give it up for health reasons. I still miss it.
My group is the bedrock of my sobriety and the practice of this Programme in my daily life – being there for the still-suffering alcoholic.
I was in and out of this Fellowship for two years prior to getting sober. I would not follow the rules: AA calls them ‘suggestions’ but I follow the rules – oops, sorry, suggestions today. I thank everyone for their help and their faith in me over the years – a debt I can never repay.
Daniel
Glasgow
