Too Young ?

Too Young ?Audio Version Before AA I thought I was too young to be an alcoholic, which is strange to think about now as I reflect on having had the allergy to alcohol and the mental obsession from the very first time I drank age twelve. Of course, at the time I didn't know. Even when I put down the drink I didn't truly understand what it meant to be alcoholic until I read the Big Book and started working with a sponsor. I experienced blackouts from that very first drink, age twelve. I never knew they weren't part of everyone's drinking experience. Apart from being the liability and always the girl being carted home early I didn't see that my drinking was much different to that of others through my teens. I constantly thought that next time I'd stop when my friends stopped, next time I would know my limits. I remember counting down the months, days, hours until I turned 18 and could legally buy alcohol myself. I went off to Uni not long after and it seemed as though everyone drank every night there, it was acceptable to be unacceptably drunk and I fitted in well at first. I made friends with people who drank 'fast and vast' so that I wouldn't have to wait painfully for the next round. The progression of alcoholism for me came quickly once I left university. First things to go were the external things- job, relationship, driving license, flat. I moved back in with my parents and unleashed chaos and terror in their home. I knew alcohol was causing me some trouble, but I would look at my friends going out clubbing at weekends having fun and think, "I should be able to do that." I never understood that my body reacts differently to my friends, and that I never will be able to drink the way they do. The abnormal quickly became normal and I soon found waking up in police cells, hospitals or secure wards to be standard occurrences. Alcohol led me down a path of despair in a very short time, and I found myself at that jumping off point, wishing for the end. At the age of 22 I went to my first AA meeting. I was the youngest person there and that was all I could focus on. I believed that nobody would take me seriously because I hadn't had as many years of drinking as they had. The one thing I did right was to keep going to those meetings. I came to realise that I didn't have any more years of drinking in meâ?¦ no matter my age, I'd be dead if I continued to drink. I began to understand that putting alcohol down was just the beginning and that I would need a spiritual solution through working the Twelve Steps in order to recover. I got involved with service and realised that people took me very seriously indeed. I was treated with respect and love. I got a sponsor and we study the Big Book which has helped me to connect with a power greater than myself which I choose to call God. I thank God that I found AA when I did, and I ask to be shown how to stay sober one day at a time. I am now age 28, four years sober and living happily, joyous and free. When I meet an alcoholic, I carry the message which was freely given to me. I don't see people's age, and I don't worry about whether they see mine. Sometimes I have had unhelpful comments about being so young, with people equating age with degree of difficulty faced. I like to kindly point out that I didn't end up in AA by accident- that I reached rock bottom just like everyone else. The Big Book tells us we are people who normally would not mix but we are joined together by a common solution upon which we can all agree. I believe we can never be too young, nor too old to receive this priceless gift. Jess -