Finding Happiness
Audio Version 
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My name is Sarah, I'm an alcoholic. I had my first drink when I was twelve years old. I remember feeling free, it took away my fear, worries, anxiety and emotions. I felt untouchable. Early in my childhood I knew alcohol played a big part in my family's life. Soon it became a big part in mine. I started drinking at 7pm and at that time not a minute before 7pm. Only alcoholics drank in the day, if only I knew! 7pm was when I put my eldest son to bed, so it was in my head that this was my doing, but also, it was then ok to drink. After divorcing my ex-husband my start time became earlier and earlier. Alcoholism took my job, kids, car, every part of me. But I couldn't, wouldn't give it up out of pure fear of life. Alcohol had become everything, my mask to the world. Eventually landing me to hospitals detox centres and suicide attempts and then prison.
I was emotionally, spiritually broken. I was asked in prison if I wanted to attend AA. I went as I was told there was free coffee and biscuits, nowt in prison is free so this was a rarity. At AA I met the person whom I didn't know at the time was to become my sponsor and friend. When I sat in the AA meetings at first I laughed. It was really nerves, fear of the unknown. I felt something that day (now I know it to be my HP). I couldn't explain it at the time, a glimmer of hope that had dared let myself feel, out of pure fear, of life without alcohol.
So when I realised there was a meeting locally I got taken to it. I thought I would give it a try and drink after. I went and they were friendly happy normal people with normal lives. So I thought I'd like to have some happiness, maybe I can do that one day, and I'm grateful and glad to say I'm sober three months on, One Day At A Time. Building trust with my sponsor to do my Steps, new friendships and memories through the Fellowship. Building trust with my children and others. With my Higher Power, God's guidance, building a bridge to normal life.
SARAH.