Welcoming Visitors

HELLO my name is Mary and I am an alcoholic. I have lived in happy sobriety for 32 years. I wanted to share some of my thoughts, experiences and observations on being mostly a visitor to meetings with no home meeting of my own. (Pre lockdown of course) 

I am a confident and positive person, not shy about introducing myself. I live a nomadic life due to my work and it's wonderful having the opportunity to visit so many meetings all over the country. Mostly the experiences are fantastic and welcoming. On occasions I have been deeply disturbed and upset by some. I want to ask and encourage members of our Fellowship to look deep into our hearts and see if each group is being aware enough and welcoming enough to any new faces at their meetings. I know sometimes if I had been a newcomer faced with the total lack of a welcome, I think I would have turned around and left the Rooms never to return. In fact, on a couple of occasions I have done just that. One meeting had phones and coats on all the chairs obviously being ‘saved’ to sit next to their chosen friends and after introducing myself and trying to find somewhere to sit, constantly being told, “You can't sit there” with no eye contact or any spoken acknowledgement of my existence. At another one I introduced myself to the secretary sitting at the table, again barely any greeting or welcome at all. Many are busy tapping on their phones and will not look up to say hello to anyone, then it seems that they feel awkward about their behaviour and consequently ignore me completely. It is certainly easier, more comfortable and safer to stay in our little friendship groups or isolate ourselves in our phones.

So, where does that leave us? Do we do enough to welcome a stranger in our meetings and make them feel at home? Do we sit in our cliques and not make the effort to see a new face, enquire into their name and how they are? Are we able to remember when we were a new face at a meeting and were so glad that we were welcomed? Do we want newcomers’ and visitors’ abiding memory of our meeting to be such a negative and unhappy one? We are the only ones who can answer this and make any necessary changes. Thank you 

MARY