A sober Christmas and New Year
CHRISTMAS is just another day. Like every other day I must not pick up a drink - one day at a time.
My personal circumstances are that I have a very poorly husband so we’ll be taking it very quietly as we usually do - watching TV, eating more than we should and getting phone calls and video calls with family. We have two babes in our lives now and a new born by then so I can share in their joy and fun via technology and nowadays I’m not filled with resentment that I don’t have children of my own. I have my family back and thanks to AA can choose to share in the lives of the new members and rejoice in them. My first Christmas (four months sober) I went all ‘amends’ and invited mum and mum-in-law together for lunch. Not a good move. We survived. I’ve had a sober Christmas with a very drunken husband (now ex), several single which I invariably shared with my mum - even going out once and the booked taxi didn’t arrive (saved at the 11th hour), and many remarried years shared with a sober, dear man. We love a good Christmas carol and have always gone to the local church for carolling and this year all the babes presents are bought, wrapped and sent to their respective homes in good time.
This will be my 28th sober Christmas thanks to AA and my HP, my husband and so many friends and family - and they have gotten easier. Preparation helps. Low expectations help - of myself and others. Acceptance helps. Gratitude helps. Keep doing the daily spiritual routine that has kept me sober every other day of the year. The decorations have become a bit of a chore but it’s our Christmas so if we don’t want them this year we won’t bother. Don’t need to try and impress any more. We watch ingredients in food very carefully - those sneaky, boozy mince pies, chocolates, brandy butter, gateaux, I even saw booze in profiteroles!! Who knew? If in any doubt - DON’T. We returned a neighbour’s gift hamper they had carefully selected because there was no wine in it but everything else was boozy - even the cheese. Better they know now and don’t make the same mistake year upon year with us too ‘nice’ to inform them. My personal thing is a certain apple juice. Danger zone!! Ok for some but not for this alcoholic. Looks like cider and/or wine, nice bottle, lightly sparkling - just the ticket. For me, it’s poison. The head goes and I drink it like I always did, possessively hiding the bottle from other guests, large glasses drunk rapidly, horrified at the end of the bottle – where to find more?? This is just my experience but it goes to show me my problem is in my head. It isn’t alcohol but it might as well be for the effect it has. Solution for me – DON’T BUY IT.
There are so many meetings at the touch of a button now thanks to technology and the Fellowship embracing this option and Christmas day won’t be any different. There will also be face to face meetings. We arranged a lovely marathon come and go Christmas day meeting with eats. Newcomers – get to plenty meetings over Christmas. Pick up the phone to fellowship friends or sponsor – nothing is too trivial. Don’t engage in family tiffs – walk out the room. Just a suggestion. Don’t spend it on your own unless you really want to – there will be meetings galore. Wishing you all a very happy sober Christmas – we don’t really do new year but enjoy if you do. It’s one minute, one hour, one day at a time – you can do this, just like every other day you’ve done it (and watch out for the new year ‘celebrations’ – many members relapse in the New Year, congratulating themselves on their Christmas success. Don’t let that be you. Stay close.
Thank you, HP and AA. Happy Christmas,
LESLEY B, Nera