The Share Interview

Audio Version  

Be Honest With Yourself And Another Human Being.

Recorded Interview with 'Anonymous' Tyne & Northumbria.

Sobriety date: 23rd of September 2007

Q. Thanks for doing this. May I ask what brought you to the Fellowship?

1. I was employed as a support worker, I'd been off sick again, through drinking and they said you either go to Alcoholics Anonymous or you're going to lose your job.

Q. So, you came to A.A. Under some pressure, how did that work out?

1. I stayed sober for a month. I identified with members when they talked about their fears and anxiety. The thing I most identified with, though, was when they talked about the first drink.

Q. What happened then?

1. Euro'96 came up. As a big football fan, I went to the pub, watched England. Had the first drink, never thought of the consequences and I was off on another bender. I subsequently lost my job in October that year.

Q. How long was it after that, when you stopped drinking?

1. I had periods of sobriety in A.A. Periods of dryness I would call them. I always picked up a drink because I had no defence against the first drink. I came to A.A. drunk sometimes but I was told I'd behaved myself. I can't remember being there though.

Q. Have you sought help from other agencies?

1. Yes. I'd been to prison three times. They put me on a course there about my drinking. There were good prison officers who tried to help. Probation, Psychiatrist, Psychologist's. Well-meaning people. One psychologist said that the answer for me would be in A.A.

Q. Going back, can I ask when you took your first drink?

1. Twelve years of age. Problems and drinking getting out of control started from probably 17. Mostly drinking in pubs.

Q. Okay thanks. Just switching again, when you were in A.A. how was your concept of a Higher Power formed?

1. My first experience of feeling the presence of a Higher Power, God as I understand him today, was in a prison chapel in 1997. I'll never forget it. I had a feeling of peace, calmness and wholeness that I'd never had in my life before then. I continued attending the chapel every Sunday until I was released. But on my release I took a drink. Again looking back I realise, now, that faith is not enough. Faith has to be accompanied by action.

Q. What changed in you?

1. I reached another rock bottom. I couldn't take any more of the mental and physical suffering. The torture of what I was putting myself and others through. I suffered bad withdrawals, did it alone. Shivers, shakes, hallucinations and I started fitting. I thought I can't do this on my own anymore and I didn't just need A.A. meetings I needed AA's Twelve Steps. That's when I made contact with the man who became my sponsor.

Q. How is your life today?

1. My life is totally different. I have a feeling of contentment a lot of the time. Peace and joy. I can deal with situations I used to drink on before. Itâ??s a nice feeling to carry this message to others, and I just put one foot in front of another on a daily basis.

Q. What would you say to a newcomer reading this?

1. I was told at my first meeting that if I carried on drinking it would get worse. I thought it couldn't get worse for me, I'd lost everything wife, children, career, been homeless, imprisoned twice. It did get worse though. In every area of my life. I became suicidal, the withdrawals got worse. Another, longer prison sentence. Some family walking away. I would say to Newcomers keep coming to A.A. meetings, men for men, women for women. Be willing to go to any lengths. Be open minded. Be honest with yourself and with another human being.

Thank you so much.