Continued to take personal inventory

WHAT an order, really, what an order! As I was working my way through our Twelve Step Programme, I got to Step Ten and realised that it was always me that had to admit I was wrong and had to apologise. I was very much not impressed. I had done my Step Four inventory, spoke to my God and sponsor on Step Five and dealt with my shortcomings and defects, which were numerous. These four Steps broke down my ego. I found out I was actually not as good as I thought I was. I did make direct amends where possible, some taking longer to do than others but nonetheless, I did them.

Then along comes Step Ten. I did not want to do this Step inasmuch as I had said, “Sorry” so many times, I thought I was all ‘sorried’ out. Why is it always me who has to make amends? what about them/him/her? - the list could go on. Well, my sponsor told me, in no uncertain words, that it was me who had the Programme and so therefore, it was me that had to work it. I was the alcoholic, I had been given the grace and strength to get through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous and if I wanted to stay sober, have peace of mind and a taste of serenity, then I will do this Step with a good heart. 

I began to survey my day before I went to bed and took a long hard look at myself - again - and asked myself if I needed to do any amends. You know what? I actually found it enlightening. I went back the next day to the lady in our local store who I had been quite blunt with and said I was sorry, I did not give an excuse, I just said my behaviour was unacceptable and I apologised. Recently I had been back to the doctor’s surgery to apologise to one of the receptionists, who again I had been quite blunt with.

Over the past years I have religiously done this Step. It's amazing and I am so grateful for my sponsor’s advice and patience. Thanks again SHARE Team for all your hard work. Long may it last.

Yours in fellowship
JOJO, Reeth