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Alcoholics Anonymous
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and English Speaking Continental Europe
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Our Spiritual University

WHEN I arrived in AA, over twenty-five years ago, full of self-pity, fear, depressed and again suicidal, I had no idea how AA worked, that it is a spiritual Programme of recovery, of action, based on Steps, sponsorship and service. I knew it was to do with stopping drinking, but there is so much, much more. I didn't know the importance of spirituality in peoples' lives or that the word God would be used - a word that at the time I couldn't really say without a swear word being involved. I did enjoy my first meeting, I got hope. I was taken for tea afterwards. We chatted, we talked. I talked about my drinking and the problems in my life, but I was also interested in what these people were doing to be sober, for I could see that not only were they sober, they were also peaceful and happy. I asked them how they were doing this, and they started to outline AA's spiritual Programme of recovery. They asked me if I was powerless over alcohol and when I said, “Yes”, they said I needed to find a Power greater than myself to help me get and stay sober. They said they had had to do this. They suggested that I do what they did. That I get on my knees that night to say thank you to a Power greater than myself, for keeping me sober that day and also to get on my knees each morning asking that same Power to keep me sober that day - all so I could help other alcoholics, my family, friends and society. This was unusual, and certainly wasn't what I was expecting. They said they had felt the same, when these ideas were given to them, but they found when they put them into practice, not only didn't the drink but they actually started to feel happy and comfortable with life. What had I to lose? - only a life of pain and booze. I did what they suggested. That night. I got on my knees and said thank you to a Higher Power, a God of my own understanding. I also got on my knees next morning, as I did this morning, asking my Higher Power to allow me to be sober, all so I can help others. I went to lots of meetings, somebody, thank God, brought me a Big Book. I quickly got a sponsor.

I started to realise that AA is not just about stopping drinking. "Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem." (BB p.45). When I arrived in AA, I thought I knew a bit but I now realise that I knew nothing. There I was, trying to do life without a connection to a God or Higher Power and, when problems came along, all I could do to deal with them was drink and, when they didn't go away, drink some more. I now feel that AA is the greatest spiritual University in the world - it helps you realise your spirit and shows you how to keep it nourished daily. "We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” (BB p.85). When I arrived, I didn't know anything about this or about resentments or defects of character.

As Step Six says, "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." Of course, to have them removed, we have to know what they are. When my sponsor started me on Step Four, he said it was to deal with resentments of the past - that is, things that had upset me over the years, often in my case over forty years before. He said that he had been shown fourteen defects of character and he introduced them to me. They were Pride, Self-pity, Self-centredness, Dishonesty, Arrogance, Impatience, Intolerance, Sloth, Lust, Greed, Gluttony, Envy and Jealousy. In doing my Step Four, I did it in three columns. In the first, I put the name of the person involved, in the second, what had happened, and in the third the defects of character involved. As I wrote it, I started to realise that no matter what happened in my life, it was always how I reacted to it - the defects of character involved - that caused the problem or resentment.

Now, looking back, I realise the devastating, negative effect that resentments caused me. "Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else." (BB p.64). How true - and I didn't know I had any or defects of character - before I came to AA. Thank you, dearest God, for AA, for allowing me to find it, to learn about myself and how important having a spiritual life is. Thanks for reading this, God bless all, always in my prayers and may we pray that lovely AA does happily, healthily and spiritually, grow and glow,

DENNIS, Ealing