Life Beckons

I am a prisoner who received a life sentence some years ago, and I’m coming towards my parole date. Before I came to prison, I drank every evening until I was insensible.  I felt lonely and resentful and didn’t like myself for being gay, but I held down a good job.

Towards the end I hated drinking but could not see any way I could stop.  I still didn’t think I was ‘an alcoholic’ and still assumed it would be myself who solved all my problems.

When I came to prison, I stopped drinking with no trouble. I was in a ‘B’ category prison not doing badly or particularly well. Then I transferred to a ‘C’ category prison with a ‘progression regime’.  People were supportive and helpful and suggested I join AA. I said I would once the meetings resumed following coronavirus. Then I began seeing a worker who, much to my benefit, was herself a sober alcoholic. She truly knew what she was talking about. She wasn’t at all wishy-washy but was knowledgeable and direct. I began to understand and appreciate the Twelve Steps. It makes a huge difference to me that AA is so wide-ranging and has Traditions that make so much sense. This means I can accept the Higher Power in my own way.

It works for me, though I am in the very early stages.  After more than thirty years of drinking before prison, I am so relieved to know there is another way and that it works. Instead of self-destruction, it is life that beckons me.

HMP