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What does that have to do with me?

I sat there looking at the scrolls on the wall and thought, 'What does any of that have to do with me?"

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“For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscious.  Our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern.”

I sat there looking at the scrolls on the wall and thought, “What does any of that have to do with me?”  Firstly, I had a problem with the God word. Then, I wondered how the same God could speak to a group of drunks - all at the same time.  I, of course, knew that any leader worth his/her salt always, but always, leads from the front! Early on I attended business meetings.  Unwittingly (and fairly ignorantly) I got involved in intergroup.  That didn’t last long – I wasn’t ready for some of the cut and thrust. As I began to grow in recovery, I also began to realise that it was love, not government, which keeps us together in precious unity. We are all equal, we all have something to offer each other in fellowship - serving our Fellowship is the way we achieve this.

I started to learn about being ‘a part of’ and not expecting that ‘my way’ was always the right way.  I became teachable.  I watched members who had been doing service for longer than me and asked questions – not just about the ‘how’ but also the ‘why’.  I was directed to our guidelines and told that these were shaped out of the experience of all groups in AA GB and, over the years, made formal at the annual group conscience, i.e., Conference.  Later on, I became aware of the Concepts and found an experienced member to teach me about them. On this learning curve, I’ve had my moments of ‘my way’ during a group conscience or a business meeting. Sometimes not very attractive moments.  Still, I did learn from that behaviour, and it helped me to grow.

It took me time to want to learn how to serve AA at the lower levels of our upside-down triangle.  It took me time to learn that if I put the best interest of whatever group I was serving before me, the group would be safe, and I would be safe. There have been times when the discussion has got quite fraught.  Then someone would say a few simple words and we would all realise that the direction had just been made clear.  We could all work towards a better end.  Every time that happens it feels as if a Higher Power has laid a hand on the group. I believe in rotation and do not hold on when the designated time has come to move on. I have been given many opportunities to serve and it ‘behoves me’ (as Dr Bob would say) to give the next member a chance to serve and grow.  Where the health of AA is concerned, I cannot afford to be selfish – the greater good must come first.  

Living the Programme of recovery has also given me the opportunity to see Tradition Two in a much more personal light.  I use it in my daily life, and it helps in all my relationships. Very early on in recovery, I was told to stick with the winners.  I didn’t know who they were then but I have found out since. Speaking personally, all it takes is love to turn a ‘bleeding deacon’ into an ‘elder statesman’. 

I love serving our Fellowship. It has been one of the greatest honours of my life to be trusted, by my fellow AAs, to serve.  It is no sacrifice to do what I can for our common welfare.  After all, many people have done the same for me.

HELEN S