The Power of the Rooms

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'Having had a Spiritual Awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and practice these principles in all our affairs.'

I had been to AA before, prior to my first 'proper' meeting. I use the word 'proper' as that was the meeting where I had finally admitted defeat to myself and realised that I needed help, and more importantly, wanted help. The meeting prior to that one, I had been dragged to by one of my sisters who was (and still is) sober and active in the rooms. She could clearly sense I had a problem and felt I needed to be there. She was right, I definitely needed to be there and I definitely had a problem with alcohol. I just couldn't see that for myself at that time. So there followed more drinking for a few months, maybe a year, maybe a bit longer than a year, truth is, I can't really remember. However long it was, I certainly wasn't enjoying myself. The fun times were over a long long time ago.

When I attended my first proper meeting, I was terrified. I had sobered up from my last drunk and I really started to question my sanity. The thoughts racing through my head during that drunk, whilst drinking on my own (which was the norm) were incredibly dangerous so I was fearful as to what was happening to me. It was weird, although I had been to AA before, I had no idea what to expect. That first meeting almost didn't register in my mind, although it did as I knew about AA and here I was heading to a meeting by myself on my own accord. Although I came to believe later on that a Higher Power was (and still is) at work. I got to the meeting mega early and paced up and down the road for a bit debating whether to call it off, when I was clocked by someone walking down the other side of the road who asked whether I was there for the meeting. Unable to lie (believe me I wanted to) I said, "Yes." He introduced himself to me and took me inside. Whilst there, a few others come in and they all introduced themselves to me and made me feel highly welcome and accepted. I was still nervous, however, the outright fear of attending had dissipated somewhat by this stage. It's worth noting, that I wasn't bombarded by anything or anyone. I wasn't told to do anything. I can't remember exactly what was said, but I do remember the emotions in that room. The kindness, the generosity and the hope I felt listening to everybody talk about their drinking and how they got sober due to the power of the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. It was a small meeting, and after everybody shared, I got asked whether I wanted to say anything. I think I shared for about two minutes, maybe three at a push, where I talked openly and honestly about what I had been doing the past few years with regards to drinking (and the rest) for the first time ever. I hadn't been honest with anyone about my drinking, and here I was telling a group of people I had met forty five minutes ago absolutely everything. That says a lot. I came away from that meeting with extreme hope and have been in ever since. That was over 11 years ago.

I now know that that was Step Twelve in action. Those guys were well and truly there for me that day and through practicing those principles, they saved my life. Same with my sister. Seeing I had a massive issue with alcohol, she 'Twelve Stepped' me and introduced me to the wonderful Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. I wasn't quite ready at the time, but I knew where to go when I was. Even if I hadn't attended my first 'proper' meeting that day, those guys were there just in case I or any others needed a meeting or help that day. It's one of the many reasons I still attend. People were there for me when I needed help (and still are), and because of that, so am I.

PETER M.