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STEP TWELVE

My Sober Christmases - 21 and Counting

Audio Version

This year, 2017, will be my 21st sober Christmas.

How different it will be to my drinking days and indeed my early years in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I truly did my best to stay sober for the Big Day. However, my behaviour without a drink probably caused more harm than good. I was waiting for a reasonable time to hit the vodka. Wine with dinner was all very well, but it had failed to do alcohol's job, which only the vodka could do.

My husband is not a drinker, he may have a wee dram at times, but it's very unusual for him to ever be drunk. So the wine basically was all for me. Two or three bottles and it would take the edge off. In fact it sort of did do its job because it led me, again, to believe the lie of the ease and comfort that comes with the first drink.

My first couple of years sober, I dreaded this time of year. I was so afraid that I would succumb to the compulsion to drink until it was pointed out to me that the compulsion had in fact been removed.

"When did I last think of wanting or needing a drink?" I was asked when I was being a drama diva. The answer was, I couldn't remember. So why would it return now? I knew if the thought came what I should do with it. I would not be responsible for the first thought, but would be responsible for what I did with it. Simple. Keep it that way throughout the year, I was told.

So once again, Santa will visit; dinner will be served with sparkling water and a good sober

time will be had in our peaceful and loving home. Merry Christmas!

JOJO, Reeth