..... And Becoming Willing To Believe

…SO, the day came for me to leave, I was more anxious to leave than I had been to arrive. But I was glad to be home and realised pretty quickly that rehab had been about me being ‘reset’ and put back to my ‘factory settings’. In order for me to continue my sobriety I needed to get to meetings and find a sponsor, and do some work. I gave myself a day off when I came out of rehab but on the second day, I went to my first AA meeting on the ‘outside’. I didn’t really talk at this meeting but one person came straight up to me and introduced herself, she gave me her number, asked for mine and suggested I joined another couple of meetings later in the week. Blimey I thought, this is all a bit full on, I’m not sure I want to give a lot of people my phone number. I was scared. but this wonderful lady texted me in the days that followed and as she suggested I went to her home group. I did and I felt immediately welcomed there. I was asked if I would do a reading. I sat down next to another lovely lady and we chatted and found we had some things in common.

A few days later my GP rang to tell me I had to self-isolate for twelve weeks because of an illness I had had over Christmas. I panicked. How was I going to move forward with the Programme now? The lady I had met at my first meeting put me into a social media group and I thought, “Oh come on throw it out there Sarah, ask for a sponsor, what’s the worst that can happen?”. So I did, one person kindly rang me and said they couldn't be a sponsor but would always be at the end of the phone for me, then another lady said she was willing to take me on temporarily. She suggested we video call and chat about it. So we arranged a time, and lo and behold if it wasn’t the lady who I had sat next to at the second meeting I’d gone to.

I am so grateful; she is now my temporary sponsor and I feel very safe and secure in her hands. Whilst we were working through Step Two something pretty huge dawned on us at the same time. Up until this point I had accepted my HP in rehab was my group, my peers, the people who I opened up to for seven hours a day every day for the preceding month. I was saying to my sponsor maybe my home group will become my HP, but I said “Aren't these coincidences crazy? I knew I needed to go to rehab, some funds appear from nowhere, I chose a great facility, my counsellor was the best one for me, my group was the right one for me, I met a lady at my first outside meeting, she ushered me to her home group, I sat next to you and then you amazingly agreed to become my sponsor without knowing we had met.”. “They are not coincidences.”, she said, “That is your Higher Power working for you.”. I think I knew deep down something special had been happening, but I had no comprehension of what that was. We both shed a tear at this stage. I felt completely overwhelmed.

So in a rather long and convoluted way, I just wanted to say, even at this early stage of my recovery I am beginning to realise that it may be that “…a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”. I think so far, my HP has done a sterling job, and I am very thankful that I have been given the opportunity to accept the Programme into my life, along with my friends from rehab, my new AA friends, and my sponsor. Thank you all for making me so welcome and for allowing me to carry on my journey in such great company.

SARAH