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Search 'online' to see all currently registered online meetings (updated daily)

I Saw The Sign And It Opened Up My Eyes

AFTER a lifelong obsession with Scandinavian pop music, a song about a sign for me was my rock bottom but, I’m glad that I did see the sign. It took me a while to get there.

‘I drink like this because I’m gay, all the gays drink like this’ ‘I’m a professional in the city, it’s the lifestyle’ ‘My brother has the real consequences, I’m not that bad’ ‘If my brother would stop ending up in psych wards and with the suicide attempts’ and’ If my parents behaved differently.’
And so it went, until it got painful enough for me to realise that the problem wasn’t external, the problem was that when I took a drink I couldn’t control how much I would drink and where I would end up. I did stupid things, lost stuff, felt shame often and spent the whole time wanting to be like ‘normal’ people (the big reveal, nobody is normal!).
Some people can drink safely and some people can’t. Simples. I can’t drink safely and never could. Like the packet of savoury snacks - once I popped, I couldn’t stop.

I’m glad it did get painful enough that I really had to look at my drinking and take action. I asked for help and help came. Lots of help. I went to AA and found out there were lots of people of all ages, backgrounds and walks of life there. These were people who had similar experiences to me who lived free of booze AND were happy - hurray! It’s now been over six years since I had a drink. Before I stopped, I thought my life would be over without drinking but in fact the opposite has happened. I can show up for my fiancé, my family, my friends, for work and for myself today. Plus, I have more energy and time to do stuff I love, no hangovers, more dosh as I haven’t spent it all on booze, late night taxis and kebabs I don’t remember eating, more time to listen to the pop music!

I love my life today. It’s vibrant, silly and there’s lots of dancing! My favourite pop group were of course absolutely right when they sang ‘Life is a flower’ and ‘it’s a beautiful life’!

Don’t suffer in silence. You are not alone.

ANDY