Family Illness, Family Recovery
I AM a 41-year-old mother of two children and have lived in a small village in North Wales all of my lifeFind out more
Welcome to our April edition. The month of showers. Showers that come out of nowhere. This to me is a little like extreme emotions, coming out of the blue and knocking me sideways. However there is a solution! Part of that solution can start with the Fourth Step. The Step where we have to take a good hard look at ourselves. As well as listing my many faults my sponsor talked about the importance of listing my assets. I could not see any at my first attempt but then I came to see that this was a false picture. Honesty forced me to see the few things that were not so bad in me, as in where I had helped people. Then, with the further encouragement of my sponsor I had to try and fill in that fourth column, “What was MY part in this?” Many of us protested when we reached this point, often claiming everyone else’s behaviour as the cause of the problem. But doing the inventory I had to ask, “What did I do?” “Did I shout aggressively?” “Did I glare thunderously making communication difficult with my arms folded protectively in front of me?” Did my body language shout out, “Don’t tell me what to do!!”
Beginning to see the part I played in all those difficult, argumentative situations all started with me having a go at this Fourth Step. I did not see too well at first but this Programme seems to work for me when I try to practice it each day. Over time I have become more aware of the part I play. About what I say, when I say it and who I say it to. I have also discovered it is often better not to say it at all!