May 2021

It’s May and hopefully, as we face the future with renewed faith, we are starting to make a few tentative steps towards a return to ‘normality’ - whatever that will be for each of us individually. How fitting that the focus of this month is Step Five where we are challenged to face those character traits which are no longer of benefit to us. This Step emphasises the need for complete honesty and a fearless admission of our own part in the past. Who really wants to face those deepest, darkest secrets? I certainly could never have faced this Step without my Higher Power and the guidance of my sponsor. It had been one of the reasons I drank - I was trying to live “with those tormenting ghosts of yesterday...” (12&12 p.56) and deal with them on my own. I just couldn’t - and then I found AA.

So, for this Step, I had to talk to somebody I totally trusted - for me that was my sponsor. Taking a totally honest, realistic look at past actions and reactions while avoiding rationalisation (one of the many traits I have to address on a daily basis!) was just the start. Being able to let go of the burdens of shame and guilt allows the giving and receiving of forgiveness. This Step, once taken, can bring such serenity and an unbelievable feeling of lightness, as we begin to “not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.” and prepare for the next Steps. We are able to acknowledge and embrace those assets which will be of use as our spiritual journey continues.

This truly is a journey of self-discovery as we look to find a true kinship with our Higher Power, ourselves and others.