Abridged article first printed in Roundabout April 2017

Audio Version 

I’m an alcoholic and sober today thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous. Our Fellowship is called Alcoholics Anonymous as that is who we are. We are alcoholics who help each other get and stay sober, one day at a time and we don’t tell anyone who we’ve met at meetings. If I tell someone outside AA that Maggie who lives next door to them or Tam who’s in a TV programme come to meetings, I’m breaking their anonymity. That’s quite straight forward. What wasn’t clear to me for a while was that if I tell a fellow AA member that I saw someone at a meeting, I’m breaking their anonymity. Just because someone has come to a meeting doesn’t mean they want people they haven’t yet met in AA to know what they’re doing. This is of great importance, especially to the newcomer who may be nervous enough as it is about coming to an AA meeting, wondering if they are one of us and if AA just might have an answer to their drinking problem, never mind nervous about it becoming known that they’re coming to AA. For others too, even old-timers, maintaining anonymity can be very important. They may have a job where it becoming known that they go to meetings would cause them a lot of trouble. There is still a stigma attached to being an alcoholic. We’re selfish wasters who could go on a bender at any time (well that was me anyway). An AA member could have young children at school, be in a custody battle for kids with their ex-partner, have all sorts of other reasons or just their own very valid desire to remain anonymous.

I’m happy to tell most but not all people I meet, should the conversation go that way, that I’m an alcoholic in recovery who is sober today thanks to AA but that is my individual, personal choice and I like to be the one who, on an individual case-by-case basis, makes that decision but not to have someone else make it for me. When I do my break own anonymity I try to be a good example of AA. The person I’m talking to may not know anyone else in the Fellowship and if so I will be personally responsible for their initial impression of AA.

Most importantly, I must respect the anonymity of others. I must not assume that everyone I meet in AA has made the decision to break their own anonymity. I must assume that everyone I meet in AA wants to remain anonymous. Just because I know an AA member has told their neighbour that they are in AA does not mean that they want the whole world to know. It’s for them to tell who they want, not me. When out with a non-AA pal I met an AA member and my non-AA friend asked me how I knew them. My answer was a vague but truthful “through friends” and I quickly changed the subject to avoid further quizzing until I could ask my AA friend if it’s okay to tell my non-AA pal exactly how I know them. If they say no, I must respect that. If I’m out with an AA friend and I meet someone I know from AA meetings, I have to be careful not to break the anonymity of either. This may seem awkward and complicated, but alcoholism is a killer disease and anonymity is an important part of AA. Tradition Twelve tells us that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.”

Anonymity is not just important on a personal level, it’s vital at a public level. Tradition Eleven reminds us that “we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.” We do this to protect AA from our egos and also, though this is more the Programme’s job, to protect ourselves from our egos. In the long form of Tradition Eleven it says “our names and pictures as AA members ought not be broadcast, filmed or publicly printed.” Clearly, this includes social media sites too. My full name and picture are there on a public site. If I post on a social media site that I go to AA meetings I’m going against Tradition 11. Social media sites don’t have to know about our Traditions, but we do, and the onus is on us to understand them and work them into our sobriety. If someone who is thinking of coming to AA sees our members identified as such on social media sites they might very well not come for fear that their anonymity will be broken. If they are alcoholic and don’t get sober they can die a horrible slow or maybe not-so-slow death. I’m not an expert on the inner workings of social media/networking sites but I did find out that a ‘closed group’ is not as private as I thought it would be. Full names and profile pictures were available for me to view even before I had joined the group. Although I’m careful about my privacy settings I am still unsure about how it all works. I found the card printed by AA GB called ‘Hints and Suggestions on Internet Safety’ very helpful. The leaflet ‘Understanding Anonymity’ is great too. Both are available from our General Service Office in York and through our website. What about posting about my recovery, how long I’m sober, meeting up with likeminded friends? If I don’t mention AA I’m not, as I understand it, actually breaking any Traditions but for me I’ll keep it simple and only mention or reply to such postings by private message.

I’ve made mistakes in the past and have broken someone else’s anonymity but today I’m hopefully very much more mindful of the Traditions and their importance. By working the Traditions in my sobriety I can do a better job of fulfilling my primary purpose in AA of staying sober and helping the still-suffering alcoholic. At the very least I am not doing anything to harm them or their chances of recovering.

Happy Member of AA

Glasgow