Zooming!

Audio Version 

Hi, my name is Jill and I am an alcoholic.

One day, I found myself alone in a touring caravan on the banks of Loch Lomond because I had pushed my family away so that I could isolate after 34 years of drinking and 14 years in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous. That day, I finally realised I was powerless and I did not know what to do! I held my head in sheer panic and fear and said “God I do not know what to do!” Then I became aware of a loud voice saying, “You know exactly what to do. You have to go back to AA.”

I got up, showered and went to an AA meeting in Dumbarton and what a welcome I received. Big cuddles, friendly handshakes, phone numbers and words of wisdom were shared. I left the meeting filled with hope that I was back where I belonged. I joined that group and about a month and many meetings later, Covid struck! I could not believe it and wondered what I would do without meetings. The little monkey that always waits for me said “You can just get drunk!” But this time it was answered by a voice saying “That is not your solution anymore” and I realised I had to find another way. I heard of ‘Paltalk’ which was great, because I could listen and talk when I had the courage.

Then came Skype which I had never liked, but it was nice to see faces. Someone later suggested that I try my old home group from 10 years before which was on Zoom and that is when I was rocketed into the 4th dimension.

My life came alive with God showing me how technology can help even more alcoholics than before. A sponsor appeared – she should have come on a white horse as she changed my life completely.

We went through the Programme of recovery as it is outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and in between lockdowns, we even managed to do my Fifth Step face to face which was an amazing experience. I was not afraid to disclose everything to her and she took me through the rest of the steps.

I found the Women’s International Meeting (WIM) and I met the most amazing women who loved me until I could love myself. I joined them at their home groups all around the world from Brighton to Hawaii and it was fantastic! We shared together, read together and learnt about the history of AA together. We put together zoom conventions with old and new members and they guided me through the Traditions. I went to Stepping Stones the home of Bill Wilson and his wife Lois and to Dr Bob’s home where I learnt about the first 100 members. We went on road trips and had days out zooming around the world going sometimes to 10 meetings a day. I went to bed with the words of wisdom from the women's meetings ringing in my ears and on days I thought I couldn’t get out of bed I listened to the 24 hour meeting and got up - some days in my jammies and some days dressed - but mostly in my jammies! I went to a prayer and meditation meeting led by some older members who taught me how to pray and meditate. That was and is a beautiful meeting. They told me to put stickers up which read ‘I am enough’ and today, I know I am enough - I am the best version of Jill I have ever been.

Today I am studying for a degree in Forensic Psychology - I had no education previously - I attend AA every day, I have a sponsor, a home group and the privilege of helping others. I have not thought of a drink since 8 February 2020 and yesterday I received a chip which said ‘1 Year Sober’. I cannot thank AA, my Higher Power, and the Fellowship enough for what it has done for my family and my friends. I have a life beyond my wildest dreams and I am finally at peace with the world. I hope and pray that this letter helps anyone reading it to follow Chapter 5 - How it Works, because it works if you work it!

One last thing I have learnt is - I cannot do this alone!

Jill S

Priesthill Wednesday