Dae Whit Yer Telt

Audio Version

I arrived at this beautiful Fellowship a beaten man (or really a wee boy!) a long number of days ago. The man who took me to my first meeting stopped me before we went in and said "When we get in here wee man, for once in your life dae whit yer telt!" I'm happy to report that I did just that. Not always straight away but eventually.

For me, learning to live a sober life was rather difficult because I had depended on my 'friend' alcohol for so many years and I really didn't know how to cope with life without it. I was described by a late friend in AA as resembling a half-drowned ferret when I arrived. I have never in my life seen a half-drowned ferret but when I looked in the mirror I felt quite sorry for the wee beast!

I did as I was told in the beginning and for the first two years I got to as many meetings as possible, seven nights a week. Those two years were tough on me as I had such a huge bag of trouble on my shoulders. Thanks to the beauty and miracle of AA in those desperate days I never added to my troubles. Instead I began to attend to them and as time passed I was able to sort my life out and regain a modicum of sanity.

One day at a time my fears for my future began to dissipate and a little calm came into my days. I began to feel better about myself and where I was heading in sobriety. I joined the South Group (actually I was shanghaied into it) and that is the group where I am still a happy member today.

Getting a sponsor was something I heard at the meetings too but I poo-pooed that idea as I thought I could manage without! AA had other ideas for me however and I found my ideal sponsor one night at a meeting in East Kilbride in the shape of a chap I used to drink with who was, at that time, something like 14 years sober. This was another huge step forward in my recovery and another lesson from AA (not to poo-poo anything!)

Learning to share was rather difficult for me as I felt no one should know anything about how I had been living. Eventually however I began to open up a little and let folk know a bit about me and as time went by I began to feel easier about sharing my life with my friends in the Fellowship. I had never expected to make friends in AA; I was just there to see if I could stop drinking. I value the friends I have today in AA as they are an integral part of my life.

Today my life is simple. I enjoy the things that were always going to be but never were when alcohol pulled all the strings. 'Just for today I will not lift the first drink.' This is the most important thing AA taught me from day one and it's still as true today. I don't remember when I last thought of a drink and that is priceless for a chap who was a constant top-up drunk.

Being a lot older than I was when I arrived at the Fellowship I don't do as many meetings as I did but that doesn't mean I have stopped going to meetings. Far from it. I still get to as many meeting as I am comfortable with. I am also at ease with many other aspects of my life which used to irk me when in my cups!

Alcohol can take a person and twist and contort their whole being, turning the world against them and leaving them feeling lost and hopeless. Thankfully, in AA there are no hopeless cases. I am testament to that.

Colin

Glasgow South, Thursday