Letting go

THE first time I stepped into an AA meeting it was with the delusional thinking that goes hand in hand with our alcoholism. At first, there was no way I was an alcoholic but thankfully after my first meeting, this delusion was easily cast away as the only desperate and hopeless person in that meeting seemed to be me. 

I then turned against alcohol. I had no problems in my life I wished to share with a bunch of strangers, the only problem was with alcohol itself. With the help of my sponsor, I embarked on the Steps. It was when I got to Step Three, I realised that although I had completed Steps One and Two in earnest, my delusional thinking was still hampering my recovery. 

After hearing a share in a meeting, hearing the brutal honesty, feeling the complete vulnerability of the sharer, I finally faced up to the fact that I could not blame alcohol alone. It was Step Three that finally freed me, by letting go. I said my Step Three prayer and meant every word. I was giving it all to my Higher Power. Only by letting go, being released from the ‘bondage of self’, can we be fully prepared for the next Step. I say my Step Three prayer every day, I ‘Let Go and Let God’. This in turn gave me the courage to face some painful realities and continue my journey. The sharer who inspired me that day has now become an amazing friend, and with the connections in the Rooms of AA, I feel I’m going from strength to strength 24 hours at a time. 

AMY, Morpeth